Why You Should Own your Insecurities
Getting ready for my wedding and my rebrand, I chose to partake in a lot of beauty rituals that I hadn't felt were necessary before. I got micro-bladed and I realized where my eyebrows were supposed to be. I got eyelash extensions and woke up looking like I had that "no make-up/make-up look" and was pumped! I got spray tanned and my skin no longer resembled a vampire...however, with all these treatments combined, I learned a couple things.
First, it really did make a difference. It made me feel more confident and feel like I had to put less work in on a daily basis.
I started to fear going back to my natural ways since my eyes were opened to the world of beauty treatments and tricks to make me look just a little better. I had to do less prep time for photo shoots and shows and definitely fell into the habit of "maintaining" these things to keep this look for as long as I could...or as long as my bank account would allow.
But the biggest eye-opener for me in the past couple months is realizing that there is a reason why famous people and women constantly in the limelight look the way they do. It's not because they were just born with a perfection gene, it's because there is literally a team of people that keeps them that way! And if an average person had the same team, they too could achieve the same thing. Photoshop could slice off a pound or two with the click of a mouse, a stylist could help them wear the perfect thing to make their body look great, but we don't see the clip that's holding their shirt in the back, or what part of their body that isn't so great that's covered up. An array of time-consuming and expensive appointments will keep them tanned, painted, and plumped in all the "right ways."
But this is not a new message, we all know that the images we're bombarded with are fake and that the rich and famous have help to keep them together. Yet we seem to know this but fail to internalize it. Cutting through the fake sh*t, you're still left with a person. Exactly like you, who hate their arms, or think they're nose is too big, and on and on. Which is encouraging in a way because while you think you might be the only one; sometimes the most "perfect" people are the ones who are held back the most by their insecurities.
I spoke with three women this week that compelled me to write this. All three of these women are beautiful, talented, and capable of doing whatever they set their mind to. Each one of them used excuses as to why they couldn't do or try certain things, or say "I wish I could just get passed --- ." My question is, if the desired look we see on instagram (thanks to filters) and television isn't real, what makes those women able to push passed their insecurities and what is it that keeps others standing in the corner feeling less than??
I made it a goal this year to learn about vlogging, push my online presence and grow my brand as much as possible. That requires putting myself out there on a scale I didn't think I was comfortable with...hell, I'm still not comfortable with it. But I truly believe that when you see someone living out their passion, flaws and all, it gives other people permission to do the same. I see that constantly in women I look up to that run unapologetically after their dreams...I think if they can do it, why can't I? That's become one of my goals with my platform(s) is to inspire and encourage others to live the life THEY want to create for themselves and realize that the fears we have aren't even real. They live only in our head and nobody else can even see them or is thinking about them. Those people are probably thinking about what you're thinking about them and trying to hide what they think is wrong with them!
Anyways, the whole point of this is - I've found such power in pushing past stupid insecurities that have held me back and I truly wish that same thing for the women I know and love. And men too! I don't mean to exclude them from this topic, I'm just writing what I know here. :)
The cellulite on my legs is getting progressively worse with each passing day. I put lotion on it knowing it won't help and I just stare at those little lumps like, why? Why do you need to be here? Yet, last week I wore shorts to a show because I knew I didn't want to. While I'm sure there might've been a couple people or two that may have raised an eyebrow or two when I sauntered by, sun glistening off the back of my lumpy thighs, I'm hoping there was at least one person who said "well, mine's not as bad as hers and if SHE can do it..." Because that is real life. We're bumpy, we're tired, we're imperfect, but that shouldn't stop us from doing ANYTHING because then everyone would just sit home alone sad, lonely and fat! Our value is not in our looks, our instagram profiles, or anything else that the world makes up. So get up, throw your insecurities away daily, and get to work!!
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."