Weekly Recap: Oh how I've been Humbled

The theme of this week is…humility.

I have had to eat a lot of crow these past few years and this week is no different.

I was having a drink last night with my friend of 20 years. It was her birthday and we managed to find an evening to catch up and celebrate. This particular friend is nearly a decade older than me and would give me advice over the years, as I would berate her about being boring, too bogged down by life with kids, and needed to do more for herself. Being the 20-something free spirit that I was, it all seemed so simple…which lead to the many “when I get married” and “when I have kids,” statements that young people without kids feel so convicted in making.

I remember this friend’s husband saying to me when I graduated from college, all cocky and thinking I could conquer anything that came my way, that the real world was going to kick my ass…unfortunately, he was correct.

However, the harsh realities of adulthood we see when we’re young, seem like nothing compared to the responsibilities of parenting and the heavy load we’ve all been carrying the past couple years.

What I knew in theory is so much different than what I’m continually figuring out now.

In marriage, falling in love is the easy part…it’s the logistics, the balance of responsibilities, the unromantic parts and the trauma we all operate out of that makes it difficult.

In parenting, loving the kiddos is the easy part. It’s the sleep-deprived nights, the hormonal ups and downs, and the attempt to pursue dreams, relationships, etc. with the tiny slivers of time you are given that take every ounce of energy and brain power to manage.

In regards to career, the goal is the easy part. It’s the small unseen steps, the gaps in income, the stress of bills piling up and wondering whether your dream is worth it. Or if a steady paycheck trumps all that, whether the job is fulfilling or not.

My goal with this is not to complain but to point out that even though I’ve been stretched to the max further than I ever thought possible, I can’t believe how much I continue to learn.

Naïveté has its perks, but rarely leads to anywhere of value.

The deep understanding I have for moms with newborns gives me the ability to extend empathy and a cup of coffee.

Fighting through the tough spots of marriage and choosing to engage with each other in ways that draws both people closer as opposed to farther apart, makes each anniversary milestone that much more valuable.

The joys of seeing my kids experience life in their own unique ways make all the hard moments worth it a million times over.

I’ve had to manage a range of emotions I’ve never had before, leading me to continue to learn about mental health and the importance of paying attention to it.

Basically, humility has me stuck in the mud in this season of life more than I care to admit. But the next phase of who I am is built from those moments. The occasions I can get up, get clean, and get on with it, gives me the ability to run a little longer and faster before I fall again.

So when my friend said to me over a cookie ice cream sundae and fruity cocktail, “you’ve been humbled and I’m proud of you for how much you’ve grown” I really try to shake the feeling of seeing that as a failure or a flaw and take it in. To use it to move forward and to help myself and others in the future. So, when I look back at someone else who’s fallen the in mud, I have a little bit of a stronger hand to help pull them out.

So here’s to humility! It’s never fun, but always necessary.

Much love,

 SG