You know that feeling when you're locked in on a song? When you get chills at a certain part or when you actually really listen to the lyrics and realize you've had a similar experience? This is my favorite part of being a singer/songwriter - both experiencing those moments when I listen to music and hopefully being able to bring those moments to my listeners.
I've decided to start the "Story behind a Song" series because I connect so much more to songs when I know the writer's perspective or reason behind writing it. I feel like this is the perfect platform for telling my stories that led to my songs. So for now, let's focus on the new single I just released (if you haven't heard it yet, give it a listen and let me know your thoughts) "Push & Pull!"
This song is one that came out of my head completed. I was going through a personal family situation and it just fell out of me. It's so much easier for me to write sad or dark songs because that's when I feel the most compelled to write - when I have that overwhelming flood of emotion. That's my reaction for processing through difficult situations, which is why a lot of my previous music was on the darker side. But I also don't want to discount the true healing power of sharing some whiskey or wine with a good friend. :)
However, being a singer/songwriter, I eventually have to perform those songs and put them out into the universe where everyone...EVERYONE can hear them. Even the people I may have written the song about (imagine the gritted teeth emoji here).
I struggle even now as I write this with how I can be transparent, open, honest, and encouraging to my fans/readers and still be sensitive to my immediate family and friends and protect some of my private life. What's cool about this song though as that even though I wrote it with a very specific situation in mind, I've found that it's applicable to many things that I've gone through, and I've been getting lots of feedback from people that have had very different reasons for connecting to it.
This song originally was about an internal struggle. The fight between what you feel in your heart and soul is right and when someone close to you doesn't share that view and makes decisions that disrupt your stance. However, over time, this song has become far more personal to me and almost served as a mirror.
You know that feeling when you don't want to go to work, or finish that project, or be stuck in a career or relationship you hate, and the harder you fight, the more damage it does, as opposed to looking at your situation as a temporary one that is trying to teach you something. Sometimes getting what we want at the time, isn't what's best for us. And when you really really want something, that's literally the worst thing to hear. But I look back at all the times growing up when I wanted to be a super successful artist touring the world, and then I would see Britney Spears shaving her head and waving a bat around at paparazzi and think..you know, maybe it's not a bad thing I had a normal adolescence so the stupid choices I made weren't broadcast in front of the world and didn't really affect anyone else but me.
So...basically this song can be about a difficult person in your life that you love but disagree with, or a relationship you know you need to let go of, or fighting through self-doubt to get to the other side of reaching your goals and being proud of the work you put in.
"Adversary is preparation for greatness" - Andy Andrews
I try to remember that quote every time I feel stuck or not (fill in the blank) enough or frustrated. Knowing that if I push through this season, if I force myself to keep moving, I will eventually be somewhere else. And those lessons, those things I learn from those experiences will never be in vain because I take those lessons with me as I grow and will be better equipped for the next obstacle that will surely come my way.